Never before seen ronin merchandise
by Lita Inverse
Summary: (In other words my lame attempts at making money..) I, the great Lita Inverse, have Ronin merchandise for you! Take a look around and avoid the KLC if possible.


AN: Too much chatting…… and too many commercials…

Disclaimer: I don't own Ronin warriors…or anything I'm trying to sell for that matter..but sshhhh…the audience down there **points to story** doesn't have to know that…

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Never Before Seen Ronin Warrior Merchandise!!!! (NOT sold in any stores near you…)

Lita walks on holding a packet that looks like a packet of sunflower seeds:

You can buy the instant Anubis for $9999.99!!! Just add water and POOF! Instant Anubis!! comes with hair dye and a Dais doll!! AND FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY!!! You can get a baseball bat too!!! Dial this number!! *number flashes* It only costs $99.99 to call and you can get all this for $9999.99 (shipping and handling NOT included)

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Lita comes out holding a bag of Hair supplies, looks around nervously and whispers:

Now! For a limited time only you can buy ALL of Sage's hair supplies. I also took his wallet so he can't buy any more. *shifts eyes* For Only $999999.99 you can get all of his hair supplies AND for an even shorter time you can also get his little black book!!! Just call this number…*number flashes* It only costs $99.99 to call! Remember you can get all this for only $999999.99 (shipping and handling NOT included) *Lita is attacked by Sage who is swinging his No-datchi at her like mad* HURRY!! Buy now!! Before I end up having to give it back to save my neck!! *eeps and runs off being chased by a very Poed Sage*

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Lita comes on stage dragging a really heavy backpack behind her:

I have another great deal for you folks!! You can by Rowen's entire library now for only! $99999999.99!! I only have a few here with me now! AND for a limited time only you can also get Rowen's report card!!! Just take it and substitute it for your own!! And instant No-grounding!!! Just call this number!! *****number flashes* it only costs $99.99 to call!! (shipping and handling not included in the price of the product) *Lita looks around nervously and 'eeps' as an arrow flys by her ear. Looks off stage and sees Sage and Rowen running after her* Buy before I have to give them back to Rowen!!! BYE!!! *runs off being chased by Sage and Rowen who had intent to kill….*

&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^

Lita comes on holding up a cook book: 

NOW!! For this time only! You can get Cye's cookbook that has all his cooking secrets!!!! Only $9999999999.99!!! Call this number!! *number flashes* It only costs $99.99 to dial!!! (shipping and handling NOT included in the price of the merchandise) AND if you call within the next ten seconds you can get Cye's favorite Frying Pan!! Great for whapping people on the heads with!!

Cye: Like so! *grabs frying pan out of Lita's hand and whacks her with it*

Lita: OWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! That was mean!!! *sniffles looks up and runs from Po'ed Rowen, Sage, and new member of the "Kill Lita club" Cye!* EEP!!! BUY BEFORE I HAVE TO RETURN IT!!!!!!!!!!!

*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(

Lita comes on pulling a refridgerator behind her:

Now! I have a GREAT offer for all you peeps! KENTO'S FRIDGE!!!! Only $999999999999999.99!!!!!!! Just dial this number!!! *number flashes* Dialing only costs $99.99!!!! (again shipping and handling not included in the products price) And if you call within the next FIVE seconds you can also get Kento's diary!!!! *runs from the 'KLC' with it's newest addition KENTO OF HARDROCK* I MAY HAVE TO RETURN IT SOON SO CALL FAST!!!!!! *runs off screen*

#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!#!

Lita comes out with a small packet:

GUESS WHAT'S NEW HERE FOLKS!!!! I have Dais' eyepatch here!!! Just for you!!!! Only $99999999999999999.99!!!! Call this number!!! *number flashes* It only costs $99.99 to call! And call in the next FOUR seconds you can get Dais' collection of spiders!! *camera pans over to collection of spiders which is FAR away from Lita* UHHHHHHHH…GOTTA GO!!! CALL SOON!!!!!!!! *runs from 'KLC' and their newest member the One eyed wonder* BUH-BYE!!!! *lita zips outta there*

&@&@&@&@

Lita sneaks out looking sheepish:

Ok guys here's the deal. I have Sekmhet's pet snake back there. Uhm..I don't really want to touch it…but lets bid on it. How about we start the bidding at 10 million? Do I hear 10 billion? How about 10 trillion? Come on folks! I went through a lot of work to get that snake! **looks around** Ok…I'll get back to you guys tomarrow! Buh-bye! *runs off stage as the KLC come after here, with pitchforks and torches yelling witch…oops…wrong organization anyways she runs off being chased.*

$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!

Lita bounces on stage happy, obviously had some chocolate:

Ok! You folks are in for a treat today! I got Kayura's star swords here! All you need to do to get them is dress up like me and stand here while I dress like you and run away. And if you survive the KLC attack you can have them! *audience members run out of the room, Lita stands there blinking, crickets chirp, and tumble weed tumbles by* Hello? Anyone out there? I should go before the KLC comes…*Lita stands there for a minute pondering, the KLC starts coming* uh oh..*Lita runs off being chased* 

Kayura: *after grabbing her star swords from back stage* Star swords SCREAM!!!!

Lita: EEP! *runs off before building explodes* phew…that was close…*looks up to see the KLC still coming, eeps again and runs into the sunset, with angry KLC members following* 

$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$

Lita stands in a new building in front of the audience with a collection of what looks like hundreds of lighters behind her, she clears her throat:

Today folks we have Ryo's entire lighter collection. As you can see Ryo is quite the Pyro…Just call this number *number flashes* in the next five seconds and you get this collection free…5..4..3..2..1.. ok well that offers expired you can own his collection for just 9 thousand dollars!Shipping and handeling which isn't included in the previous price is 9 billion. *looks around as the KLC comes after her* BYE FOLKS! *runs off*

$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#

The room is pitch black, Lita lights one of Ryo's lighters: 

Ok…Well I HAD Something of Kale's for you guys…but I kinda dropped it and…then the lights went out and..I can't find the pieces just yet. BUT! When the lights come back on and I find the pieces you can have them for two dollars..and that with shipping and handeling…I'm gonna go now…BYE! *walks off* 

The KLC come holding torches and Sage is transformed using his sword as a Light as they follow Lita out,

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AN: Ok…Well…I'm hiding from them right now…Please review and tell me what you think…I'm also taking guest Idea's for the next chapter which be all the ideas You and others give me! Please let me know if you would like to remain anonymous in the story. You can either give me your idea ina review or you can e-mail me at Makochan_18@yahoo.com.


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